How to Give Good Head (Reddit): The Definitive Guide

The essence of giving good head, gleaned from the collective wisdom (and occasional silliness) of Reddit, boils down to this: focus on your partner’s pleasure above all else. It’s about active listening (both verbal and non-verbal cues), varied techniques, and a healthy dose of enthusiasm. Forget robotic movements; think passionate engagement. Master the art of combining oral stimulation with hand action, controlling pressure and pace, and understanding what truly turns your partner on. Communication is key, so don’t be afraid to ask what they like and pay close attention to their reactions.

The Core Techniques: Beyond the Basics

While the internet is overflowing with generalized advice, let’s delve into the specifics that elevate oral sex from mediocre to mind-blowing.

1. The Lip Lock

Forget simply wrapping your lips around the shaft. Think of your lips as active participants in the pleasure equation. Use them to apply varying degrees of pressure, from light, teasing kisses to more intense suction. Alternate between gliding motions and stationary holds, letting your lips do the talking. The key is variation, preventing monotony and keeping things exciting.

2. Tongue Tactics: The Unsung Hero

The tongue is your most versatile weapon in the arsenal of oral pleasure.

• The Flick: A quick, light flick of the tongue along the underside of the shaft, especially near the frenulum (the sensitive skin connecting the shaft to the head), can be intensely stimulating. Think of it as a playful tease.
• The Wrap: Gently wrapping your tongue around the shaft, applying light pressure, and moving it up and down can create a sensation of being engulfed, which many find incredibly pleasurable.
• The Circle: Concentric circles with the tongue around the head of the penis, paying particular attention to the coronal ridge (the raised area at the base of the head), can drive your partner wild.
• The “O”: Forming an “O” shape with your tongue and using it to gently grip and pull the shaft can create a unique and satisfying sensation.

3. Hand Play: The Perfect Complement

Oral sex isn’t just about the mouth; it’s about the whole body experience. Your hands play a crucial role in adding depth and intensity.

• The Base Grip: Firmly holding the base of the shaft with one hand provides stability and allows for deeper and more controlled strokes.
• The Stroking Hand: Use your other hand to stroke the shaft with varying degrees of pressure and speed, mirroring the movements of your mouth. Experiment with different grips – a tight fist, a looser hold, or even incorporating lubrication for added glide.
• The Tease: Don’t neglect the testicles! Gentle caresses, light squeezes, or even a teasing flick with your fingernail can add another layer of pleasure. Be mindful of pressure; some guys are very sensitive in that area.

4. The Deep Throat Dilemma

While some men (and women, giving oral sex) are into deep throating, it’s not for everyone. If you’re uncomfortable or gag easily, don’t force it. There are plenty of other ways to provide pleasure. If you are comfortable, practice gradually and listen to your body. Communicate with your partner to ensure they’re not pushing you beyond your comfort level. Safety and consent are paramount.

5. Lubrication is Your Friend

Saliva alone often isn’t enough, especially for longer sessions. Keep a bottle of water-based lubricant handy to ensure smooth and comfortable movements. Experiment with different flavors and textures to add another dimension to the experience.

The Art of Active Listening: Body Language Speaks Volumes

Pay close attention to your partner’s body language. Are they arching their back? Groaning louder? Or are they squirming or pulling away? These are all crucial cues that will help you fine-tune your technique. Don’t be afraid to ask: “Does this feel good?” or “Do you want me to go faster or slower?” Open communication is essential for ensuring mutual pleasure.

Beyond the Physical: The Mental Game

Oral sex isn’t just about the physical act; it’s also about the mental connection. Be present, be engaged, and show genuine enthusiasm. Make eye contact, offer words of encouragement, and let your partner know how much you’re enjoying yourself (even if you’re faking it ’til you make it – confidence is key!). Remember, a positive attitude can go a long way in enhancing the experience for both of you.

FAQs: Your Burning Questions Answered

1. How do I deal with the taste?

Hydration is key! Drink plenty of water beforehand. Good hygiene is also essential – encourage your partner to shower or clean themselves before. If the taste is still bothersome, try using flavored lubricant or gum.

2. I always gag. What can I do?

Start slowly and gradually increase the depth as you become more comfortable. Focus on breathing through your nose and try to relax your throat muscles. Practice can help reduce the gag reflex over time. If you’re still struggling, don’t feel pressured to deep throat. There are plenty of other ways to provide pleasure.

3. How do I know if I’m doing it right?

The best way to know is to ask! Don’t be afraid to solicit feedback from your partner. Pay attention to their body language and adjust your technique accordingly. Open communication is crucial for ensuring mutual pleasure.

4. What’s the best way to clean up afterward?

Keep a wet wipe or a damp towel nearby for quick and easy cleanup. Rinse your mouth with water or mouthwash.

5. How do I make it last longer?

Vary your technique and pace to prevent your partner from reaching climax too quickly. Alternate between intense stimulation and more gentle teasing. Use your hands to provide additional stimulation to other erogenous zones.

6. What if I don’t like doing it?

It’s okay to not enjoy oral sex. Don’t feel pressured to do something that makes you uncomfortable. Communicate your feelings to your partner and explore other ways to be intimate.

7. Is there a “right” way to do it?

No! There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to oral sex. Experiment with different techniques and find what works best for you and your partner.

8. How important is eye contact?

Eye contact can create a deeper connection and enhance the intimacy of the experience. However, it’s not essential for everyone. Pay attention to your partner’s preferences and do what feels natural.

9. What about teeth? Am I supposed to use them?

Teeth can be used sparingly for light teasing, but avoid using them aggressively or biting down hard. The goal is to provide pleasure, not pain. Communicate with your partner about their preferences.

10. Can I give head if I have a cold sore?

No! Cold sores are highly contagious and can be easily transmitted through oral contact. Wait until the cold sore is completely healed before engaging in oral sex.

11. My jaw gets tired. Any tips?

Take breaks! Alternate between oral and manual stimulation. Practice relaxing your jaw muscles and using your hands to support your head.

12. What if my partner has bad hygiene?

Openly and honestly communicate your concerns with your partner in a respectful and non-judgmental way. Encourage them to practice good hygiene for the sake of both your health and pleasure. Ultimately, it is your choice whether or not to engage if you are uncomfortable.

Giving good head is an art form that requires practice, patience, and a genuine desire to please your partner. Embrace the learning process, communicate openly, and don’t be afraid to experiment. With a little effort, you can master the techniques and create truly unforgettable experiences.